At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize