he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
