Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
