if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
