so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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