I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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