great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
