Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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