I only kidnapped one of them. chill
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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