i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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