I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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