you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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