dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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