he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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