She's JV to your varsity
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
