Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
