You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
