I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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