Yo dont text me then not text me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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