It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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