I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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