i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize