Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize