elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
