The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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