I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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