Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
