did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
