Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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