He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
