you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
