Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
