There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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