...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize