there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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