Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
