We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
