I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The air taste purple.
Randomize