Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
