I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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