"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize