You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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