C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
