i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
