This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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