Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
