He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
