haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
