I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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