All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
