I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
