I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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