Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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