Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
