After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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