you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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