She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
