sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Life is so much better after having sex.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
