You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
