good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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