I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
