Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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