You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
