The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize