she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize