who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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