He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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